Intimacy

So recently in my nonverbal communication class we have been talking about immediacy and intimacy. These two concepts hit me at home for some reason and I am dying to discuss them. 

My textbook, Nonverbal Communication: Forms and Functions, written by Peter A Andersen, defines immediacy as "Warm, involving, engaging nonverbal signals," that "provide connection and positive affect in all human relationships". So would you say that this is your friendships? Surely to some extent I'd hope so. However what is intimacy? I know my original thought is husband and wife. Andersen defines intimacy originally as " A broad term that references warm, involving behaviors, interactions, experiences, and relations." Hold on a minute, I still think that I could include the majority of my friendships under this definition. Can you as well? 

So this begs the question, where does a friendship end and a romantic relationship begin? I used to phrase this question with where does an intimate relationship begin? However I will not be doing that any longer. I am realizing that a number of my relationships are intimate. The answer to the previous question is, I am not completely certain; I am currently not in a romantic relationship and am one of the worst people to give advice on such relationships. My only possible thought is physical attraction. All of the intimacy is present in the friendship, that is only a friendship, until the day both parties see their friend in an attractive light.  

My favorite line from the chapter on intimacy is where he quotes a man by the name of Prager, "Intimate relationships are difficult, if not impossible, to replace." How many times have you had a break up and tried to "Fill the void" with a "rebound"? And how many times has it failed? This finally answers my question of why it sometimes fails when you take up a rebound; you are trying to replace what may be irreplaceable.Some relationships never reach this point, but if it does looking for replacement will not be the answer.  And if that person is replaceable, then perhaps you realize intimacy was never there.
So mostly I am hoping that the people who actually read this will take the time to think about who is important in your life, why, and how you would feel if you lost them. Time is precious it passes us by faster than we see, and it's funny how a lifetime can suddenly become a yesterday. So think about it, who are you intimate with, and when you realize it, make sure they all know.

A friendship that others would most likely envy,

A truth, a light, and deep understanding,

You’re my best friend and so to you I’ll be true.

I hope that this means all the same to you.

I stop and I whisper in your ear soft, so sweet

Where would I be if it weren’t for you?

Our laughter and struggles late into the night,

Even when I cried you would hold me tight.

I wasn’t so sure but suddenly the truth I see,

You are the best friend that was made for me. 

Ticking Clock

Do you ever stop and wonder, well where is my life going? Well perhaps you don't, but I most certainly do. I want to know, I want to know everything, and I want to know it now. I have a patience level that can only be described as, well, non-existent. I used to frown upon this quality in myself, however recently I have begun to embrace it. If you do not wonder what is to come, then what do you have to hold onto? 

The best part of this whole situation is that no matter how much we wonder, and hope, and strive someone knows better than we do. Psalm 31:14-15 "But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, You are my God! My future is in your hands." 

So whether you are wondering about a job, school, relationships, or any other factor, just hold on for your answer. IT WILL COME! 

When I think about me and you I feel like I'm looking into the past

What I need now is a crystal ball, something to see ahead and fast.

I want to know if you will be the one that I can call my home

The one who will be able to give me faith, that I'll never be alone.

I want to have the confidence inside myself that I can see;

Everything that I am, was, and evertything that I soon will be. 

Success, trials, devestation, and even so much more will come,

And I want to know I can do it alone, me, myself the only one. 

So perphaps inside that crystal ball, I am findinding my answer,

It is not you, or us that I seek. It is my own self that I treasure.  

I CAN do this

So, it's been close to a year since I posted anything here. I know I'm awful. My friend Mary will attest to this I am sure. But part of the reason that I haven't posted is because I am...

SCARED 

I've been hesitant to post any of my real work on here for fear that someone will say o wait is she talking about me? That conflict we had, the relationship we used to be in, any of the above. However in the words of Mary I just need to, "Pull a Taylor Swift and stop caring" So here I am pulling a Taylor Swift and not caring, sort of. I'm gonna try my hardest. Because in all fairness I would love to be Taylor Swift, well without the actual singing of course.

 Becoming a lyricist, or even a poet who can share her poems in a public place is my dream. We had a slam poet that performed at my school this fall, he told me I needed to get out there and start letting others hear my work. So while I'm not signing up for the next open mic night, I will post here for you wonderful audience members to enjoy.  

So now that I've rambled and put it off a little longer, below you will find my first piece to the public. Well of depth anyway...

When you walk by me next what will you see?

Have you ever really known the depth of me?

I tried my best to allow you in,

And now the pain wears me thin.

I want for you still to be the one, my only,

But I fear that you’ll leave me sad and lonely.

So soon is the day that the test is given,

And we’ll see if with me, you are still smitten. 

Merry Christmas Y’all

So, the Christmas season is upon us, and I for one am pretty excited about it. The thing is though, Christmas isn’t the same as it was when I was a kid, and I’m sure many of y’all would agree.
No longer do I wake up at 5:30 in the morning and jump on my brother’s beds, and watch cartoons until they actually got out of bed hours later. No longer do I hunt through the house trying to find my presents before the big day…usually J

Once you’ve reached college I’ve found that Christmas is about so many more things….and I shall elaborate on some below because that’s what I do, as my friends say they’re “Wilson Stories”

First Family

You know those cool people that are supposed to love you no matter what. Well when you don’t see them as often they tend to mean a bit more to you (Funny how that works) I know the family relationship that made the biggest difference for me when leaving has been my little sister. We both went off to college this fall at different schools and I’ve taken it a lot harder than I expected to. It’s strange going from spending so much time with someone, sharing a bed sometimes, and a bathroom always, to a complete flip of being forever away from them and having a bathroom to yourself.  So being able to spend time with my sister for longer than a weekend has been a blessing.

 Not to mention eating my mother’s cooking, it’s amazing how good even “just add water pancakes” taste when your mom makes them.

Second Friends

I know that unfortunately for a lot of people they loose contact with those “High School” friends. I can’t lie in the 2½ yrs that I’ve been in college I have in fact lost some of those, but I have grown even closer with some of my best friends from high school and hope to keep those friendships life long. So we all get together and talk about how broke we are and end up trying to find the cheapest possible activity to do together (Movie nights at someone’s parent’s house usually work nicely) But at the end of the night it wasn’t about what we did it was about who we were with. This is true too of Thanksgiving but I think that break is just a tease.

Third Presents

Yep we’ve been old enough for a while to be responsible for those but now it’s really true. Thankfully I am only responsible in my family for the four kids, and a white elephant. But what do you do about those friends that I just mentioned are broke just like you??? This year my amazing friend and I decided to just share the gifts of food and ourselves with each other. So a Christmas potluck takes care of that, and it’s a good time, or should be ;)

So while it may have been real cute if I could have come up with 12, just like the 12 days of Christmas I didn’t. But I do have my own little Christmas poem to share with you…

Finals are over and stress free we are

But let’s be smart and not hit the bars

For Christmas time is Merry you see

And I’d love for you to spend time with me

We’ll frolic and play in the cheapest way

And find ways to brighten our days

When money is tight no presents there will be

But instead great fellowship between you and me

So by plane, train, or car hurry on home

And stop worrying about your student loans

For it’s Christmas time you see

And I’d love for you to spend it with me 

Finals, oh Finals, how I do not love thee

So, for those of you who are in college that may read this I am hoping that it will help you a little as we enter this time of unfortunate torture. I had to submit an article that will potentially go into my school's newspaper for my last assignment in my journalism class. I could not for the life of me think of a topic. Finally, I concluded that I would write about what was on my mind, and the minds of many of my fellow students, stress. I ended up getting a perfect score on the assignment, that brought my stress down some :) So below I am posting my article.

Story by: Crystal Wilson

            “I feel like I want to yell for no reason” Alix, a freshman at Schreiner University said in regards to the way that she feels when she’s stressed. 

We all feel stressed at one point or another during our semesters here at Schreiner University. Some students find stress in classes, some in extracurricular activities, and for others it is just a matter of putting too much on our plates. The question we need to answer is not how stressed are we but, what is the most effective way to manage our stress?

According to healthline.com the top ten ways to de-stress are, listening to music, calling a friend, talking yourself through it, eating right, breathing easy, laughing, drinking tea, being mindful, exercising, and sleeping better. While all of these options are great, sometimes it may be hard to commit to one, or find the time to make the activity happen, so I looked into what answers students here at Schreiner University have to managing their stress effectively.

“When I’m feeling really stressed I like to take deep breaths, exercise, and look on textsfromlastnightnight.com so I don’t feel so bad about my life”, Allison, a senior at Schreiner said in regards to how she manages stress.

Sophomore, Rebecca said “I take an hour out of my day on Tuesdays to watch my favorite show”.

De-stressing your life doesn’t have to be something that you do alone either. Before the fall 2011 finals, the student activities board hosted, holiday bingo, pictures with Santa, and even a petting zoo. All of these activities would be a great way to de-stress.

“Take it one step at a time, and prioritize. Do one right now, and once that’s over, then start something new. If you try and do it all at once, that’s when it gets overwhelming. Also, the occasional DQ ice cream sundae with best friends helps”, Austin, senior at Schreiner said.

Allison also mentioned that the sorority Alpha Sigma Alpha “did a balloon pop at one point around finals time to help relieve stress”.

While these activities may have happened during finals it doesn’t mean you can’t find a group activity to partake in the rest of the semester to help take a mental break. You can check out Student Activities Board, Greek Life, Volunteer Service, or even Campus Ministry, just to name a few.

So the next time that you’re feeling stressed take a deep breath, figure out what your de-stress tactic is and start feeling better. 

So even if you don't go to my school, I'm sure yours has some form of relaxing activities, or hopefully a good friend that you can depend on.

So I wish anyone reading this good luck on they're finals! 

To start with...

So, I never really thought that I'd be someone who would start a blog. To be honest I pretty much thought that my opinions didn't matter enough to people to start a blog, however here we are.
I'm positive that I can attribute the creation of this blog to my friend Mary. We were on Skype one night, going through some of my song lyrics, and she said something to the effect of, I know you do this for yourself but you should really share this. Ever since that night I've been thinking of how I can share my writing. The realization I had though was that I don't write nearly as much as I did a year ago. This really hurt, I've been writing since fourth grade when I wrote my first poem about horses. So my solution: I will start blogging. Even if I'm starting with nothing but my thoughts, its words goin' into the keyboard so it's a start. Eventually I'll hopefully include on this my stories, poetry, and other random forms of writing that come to me.

So let's start with my first random thought,
MUSIC
I am a big believer in music. I feel like it has the power to change my entire day. When I wake up in the morning and my Pandora station gives me Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" I find that I suddenly have the capability to get up and sing at the top of my lungs while I'm getting ready for my 8am class. Unfortunately it works the opposite way as well, I've been in the car before and heard a song that reminds me of a missed loved one, an ex-boyfriend, or just a really bad day. Suddenly a from takes over my face and a lump grows in my throat.
I like to pick out lines of songs and try to figure out what the writer was thinking when they wrote it. My latest line comes from the New Found Glory song, "Hold my hand" The line that has taken my fancy is,
"Waking up to the green of your eyes
Is something I'll get used to"
I know personally if I was lucky enough to find love with someone and wake up to their eyes every morning it would be a blessing. However the song seems to say it would take effort, love should be effortless, so perhaps this is a way of saying that love is not a part of the relationship just two people enjoying  time with one another. However I'm not that author and can not tell you.
So I will now bring my strain of thoughts to a close. I hope that you'll read more because I'm crossing my fingers that my posts will be better than this.