Intimacy

So recently in my nonverbal communication class we have been talking about immediacy and intimacy. These two concepts hit me at home for some reason and I am dying to discuss them. 

My textbook, Nonverbal Communication: Forms and Functions, written by Peter A Andersen, defines immediacy as "Warm, involving, engaging nonverbal signals," that "provide connection and positive affect in all human relationships". So would you say that this is your friendships? Surely to some extent I'd hope so. However what is intimacy? I know my original thought is husband and wife. Andersen defines intimacy originally as " A broad term that references warm, involving behaviors, interactions, experiences, and relations." Hold on a minute, I still think that I could include the majority of my friendships under this definition. Can you as well? 

So this begs the question, where does a friendship end and a romantic relationship begin? I used to phrase this question with where does an intimate relationship begin? However I will not be doing that any longer. I am realizing that a number of my relationships are intimate. The answer to the previous question is, I am not completely certain; I am currently not in a romantic relationship and am one of the worst people to give advice on such relationships. My only possible thought is physical attraction. All of the intimacy is present in the friendship, that is only a friendship, until the day both parties see their friend in an attractive light.  

My favorite line from the chapter on intimacy is where he quotes a man by the name of Prager, "Intimate relationships are difficult, if not impossible, to replace." How many times have you had a break up and tried to "Fill the void" with a "rebound"? And how many times has it failed? This finally answers my question of why it sometimes fails when you take up a rebound; you are trying to replace what may be irreplaceable.Some relationships never reach this point, but if it does looking for replacement will not be the answer.  And if that person is replaceable, then perhaps you realize intimacy was never there.
So mostly I am hoping that the people who actually read this will take the time to think about who is important in your life, why, and how you would feel if you lost them. Time is precious it passes us by faster than we see, and it's funny how a lifetime can suddenly become a yesterday. So think about it, who are you intimate with, and when you realize it, make sure they all know.

A friendship that others would most likely envy,

A truth, a light, and deep understanding,

You’re my best friend and so to you I’ll be true.

I hope that this means all the same to you.

I stop and I whisper in your ear soft, so sweet

Where would I be if it weren’t for you?

Our laughter and struggles late into the night,

Even when I cried you would hold me tight.

I wasn’t so sure but suddenly the truth I see,

You are the best friend that was made for me. 

Ticking Clock

Do you ever stop and wonder, well where is my life going? Well perhaps you don't, but I most certainly do. I want to know, I want to know everything, and I want to know it now. I have a patience level that can only be described as, well, non-existent. I used to frown upon this quality in myself, however recently I have begun to embrace it. If you do not wonder what is to come, then what do you have to hold onto? 

The best part of this whole situation is that no matter how much we wonder, and hope, and strive someone knows better than we do. Psalm 31:14-15 "But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, You are my God! My future is in your hands." 

So whether you are wondering about a job, school, relationships, or any other factor, just hold on for your answer. IT WILL COME! 

When I think about me and you I feel like I'm looking into the past

What I need now is a crystal ball, something to see ahead and fast.

I want to know if you will be the one that I can call my home

The one who will be able to give me faith, that I'll never be alone.

I want to have the confidence inside myself that I can see;

Everything that I am, was, and evertything that I soon will be. 

Success, trials, devestation, and even so much more will come,

And I want to know I can do it alone, me, myself the only one. 

So perphaps inside that crystal ball, I am findinding my answer,

It is not you, or us that I seek. It is my own self that I treasure.  

I CAN do this

So, it's been close to a year since I posted anything here. I know I'm awful. My friend Mary will attest to this I am sure. But part of the reason that I haven't posted is because I am...

SCARED 

I've been hesitant to post any of my real work on here for fear that someone will say o wait is she talking about me? That conflict we had, the relationship we used to be in, any of the above. However in the words of Mary I just need to, "Pull a Taylor Swift and stop caring" So here I am pulling a Taylor Swift and not caring, sort of. I'm gonna try my hardest. Because in all fairness I would love to be Taylor Swift, well without the actual singing of course.

 Becoming a lyricist, or even a poet who can share her poems in a public place is my dream. We had a slam poet that performed at my school this fall, he told me I needed to get out there and start letting others hear my work. So while I'm not signing up for the next open mic night, I will post here for you wonderful audience members to enjoy.  

So now that I've rambled and put it off a little longer, below you will find my first piece to the public. Well of depth anyway...

When you walk by me next what will you see?

Have you ever really known the depth of me?

I tried my best to allow you in,

And now the pain wears me thin.

I want for you still to be the one, my only,

But I fear that you’ll leave me sad and lonely.

So soon is the day that the test is given,

And we’ll see if with me, you are still smitten.