Intimacy

So recently in my nonverbal communication class we have been talking about immediacy and intimacy. These two concepts hit me at home for some reason and I am dying to discuss them. 

My textbook, Nonverbal Communication: Forms and Functions, written by Peter A Andersen, defines immediacy as "Warm, involving, engaging nonverbal signals," that "provide connection and positive affect in all human relationships". So would you say that this is your friendships? Surely to some extent I'd hope so. However what is intimacy? I know my original thought is husband and wife. Andersen defines intimacy originally as " A broad term that references warm, involving behaviors, interactions, experiences, and relations." Hold on a minute, I still think that I could include the majority of my friendships under this definition. Can you as well? 

So this begs the question, where does a friendship end and a romantic relationship begin? I used to phrase this question with where does an intimate relationship begin? However I will not be doing that any longer. I am realizing that a number of my relationships are intimate. The answer to the previous question is, I am not completely certain; I am currently not in a romantic relationship and am one of the worst people to give advice on such relationships. My only possible thought is physical attraction. All of the intimacy is present in the friendship, that is only a friendship, until the day both parties see their friend in an attractive light.  

My favorite line from the chapter on intimacy is where he quotes a man by the name of Prager, "Intimate relationships are difficult, if not impossible, to replace." How many times have you had a break up and tried to "Fill the void" with a "rebound"? And how many times has it failed? This finally answers my question of why it sometimes fails when you take up a rebound; you are trying to replace what may be irreplaceable.Some relationships never reach this point, but if it does looking for replacement will not be the answer.  And if that person is replaceable, then perhaps you realize intimacy was never there.
So mostly I am hoping that the people who actually read this will take the time to think about who is important in your life, why, and how you would feel if you lost them. Time is precious it passes us by faster than we see, and it's funny how a lifetime can suddenly become a yesterday. So think about it, who are you intimate with, and when you realize it, make sure they all know.

A friendship that others would most likely envy,

A truth, a light, and deep understanding,

You’re my best friend and so to you I’ll be true.

I hope that this means all the same to you.

I stop and I whisper in your ear soft, so sweet

Where would I be if it weren’t for you?

Our laughter and struggles late into the night,

Even when I cried you would hold me tight.

I wasn’t so sure but suddenly the truth I see,

You are the best friend that was made for me.